The Place Promised in Our Early Days by Arata Kanoh and Makoto Shinkai

Author:Arata Kanoh and Makoto Shinkai [Arata Kanoh and Makoto Shinkai]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Yen On
Published: 2020-11-16T00:00:00+00:00

On the train on the way home, Rika rested her head on my shoulder, exhausted.

“You know, Fujisawa, I thought you were a much colder person.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh. You’re friendly to everybody, but I got the feeling you didn’t really care what happened to anybody at all. I thought you weren’t interested in people. That they didn’t matter to you, and that’s why you were able to get along with everybody. You were just too good at it for others to pick up on what you were doing.”

“You might be right about that.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

The weight on my shoulder rose slightly, shook from side to side, then came back down. It felt less like she was leaning against me and more like she was pushing her head into me.

“You see, I do have a dad and mom, but…”

And she began to talk about herself. The way she referred to her parents as if they only technically existed was telling.

“I mean, it’s not uncommon, but they’re busy with work, and they’ve got their hands full with their own problems. That’s probably not why, exactly, but they’re not all that interested in me. They never have been. I’m used to it; they’ve been like that since I was little. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, though.”

“Yeah.” I agreed without nodding, so that I wouldn’t jostle her.

“And it’s not really because of that, I guess,” she said, “but I have a hard time believing in friendships, and connections, and trust. That’s how I am.”

“Uh-huh.”

“When I was younger, I hated it when they shuffled classes. As soon as they were in a different class, people I used to get along with would avoid me and drift away. It happened several times, and I always took it really hard. It hurt. And it seemed to hurt me so much more than them.”

I just kept on agreeing with her.

“I always wondered why they were immune to it. And then I figured it out—they didn’t really let anything affect them. That was the key. The idea came as a surprise, but I was so sure it was the right move. If you don’t want life to hurt too much, you can’t afford to get too involved with anyone. It’s important to just let things flow past you. And that realization made everything so much easier. I was finally a real member of the group. That’s what made me notice you, Fujisawa. I thought ‘There’s a guy who’s doing what I do, only really, really well,’ and I assumed you were doing it as consciously as I was. That’s what made me want to talk to you. I thought I could keep it super easy and casual with you. What do you think?”

“That’s a really interesting mindset.”

“I was wrong, though. You really believe in connections. I wasn’t ready for that.”

“Do I really?”

“The girl I went to today was the only exception. She was the one person I’d actually let myself get attached to and vice versa. We’d been in the same class all the way through middle school, until last year.

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